Last week, someone called me out.

They noticed I was working on a Sunday night and pointed out the contradiction: I regularly advocate for healthy work practices, yet here I was… answering emails on a weekend. To them, I was sending a dangerous message. “You’re telling people to rest,” they said, “while secretly doing the opposite to get ahead.”

I paused when I read that. Not just because it was entirely wrong, but because it missed something deeper. Something I wish more people understood about what “healthy work” actually means.

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The truth is, I wasn’t secretly grinding. I was simply working when I could. I’m a mother of a young child. On days when I don’t have childcare, my work hours/days look different. I might spend my 9–5 chasing giggles and cleaning up snack explosions, and then turn to deep work after bedtime or when I do have care.

This isn’t me pushing past my limits. This is the limit. This is what alignment looks like in my current season of life. My priority is her wellbeing. And mine. And that means building a schedule around us, not some outdated ideal of productivity.

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The Myth of “9 to 5 = Healthy”

We’ve been taught that boundaries = rigid schedules. That if you're not closing your laptop at exactly 5:00 PM every day, you're doing it wrong. But that’s just not the full story, especially for remote workers and parents.

Healthy work isn’t about the hours you work. It’s about the intentions behind them. The structure you create to support your wellbeing. The freedom to adapt when life throws something new at you.

Remote work gave us flexibility, but too many people are still applying in-office expectations to home-based setups. Flexibility doesn’t mean always available. And it also doesn’t mean lazy or undisciplined. It means customizing your work life to match your energy, your values, and your reality.

Here’s how I make that work in practice (and how you can too):

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1. Set Clear Expectations

At the start of any collaboration, we set up:

• Our sync hours so we know when we can expect a near-instant reply (ex. 12–2pm MT on weekdays)
• A responsiveness policy so we know what to expect outside of that (ex. I’ll reply within 24 hours)
• No expectation of a response after hours, on weekends, or during travel, care days, etc.

And here’s a key part: we also set up an emergency channel (separate from standard channels) specifically for truly time-sensitive issues. This could be a Telegram or WhatsApp chat that everyone knows not to use unless it’s urgent.

In ten years of remote work, I’ve used this channel once. But it creates real psychological safety for everyone involved. People feel more confident turning off work pings when they know there’s a reliable way to be reached if something really can’t wait.

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2. Set Strong Virtual Boundaries

Yes, I sometimes work nights. But that doesn’t mean I expect anyone else to.

One of the most critical things in a flexible schedule is making sure your odd work hours don’t become someone else’s interruption.

When people hear this, they often assume I’m talking about scheduling messages. But that’s the wrong approach.

I don’t believe in timing messages to hit someone’s inbox at a “socially acceptable” hour because that assumes everyone works the same schedule. It also adds unnecessary friction to the workflow.

Here’s what we do instead:

• Turn off notifications entirely when we’re off the clock. Setting up virtual boundaries is part of onboarding from day one. So work pings aren’t received outside of core hours, and incoming messages don’t disrupt rest or family time.
• Model expected behavior. If someone replies in a few hours or even the next day, that’s not just okay, it’s respected. And if someone messages while on vacation, we call it out. Not to shame them, but to reinforce that disconnecting is safe and supported.
• Create an async work environment that doesn’t fall apart when someone’s unavailable. No one should feel stuck just because they didn’t get a reply right away. Our systems are built to keep moving, not to depend on instant back-and-forth.

Boundaries are your responsibility. But they’re also something you can design for, not just hope for.

The onus shouldn’t be on individuals to contort their communication timing to avoid “bothering” others. It should be on teams to build a culture that values async communication and honors personal boundaries.

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3. Experiment to Discover What You Actually Need

A lot of people think they know what a healthy work routine looks like until they start questioning it.

I always ask new clients: Have you ever experimented with your schedule? Most haven’t. They’ve accepted the 9 to 5 as default, never realizing that things like:

• Working right after a heavy lunch
• Forcing deep work right after meetings
• Stopping before their brain is ready to stop

…might actually be what’s burning them out

Try shifting your schedule by just 30 minutes. Try working split shifts. Try letting yourself take a real midday break. Your ideal rhythm may look nothing like the standard one, and that’s okay.

For me, the healthiest thing I can do is build a schedule that moves with my life, not one that fights it.

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Final Thoughts

Am I trying to “get ahead” by working at night? No. I’m just trying to be present for my daughter and my work. And sometimes that means adjusting the time blocks. But never the intention behind them.

I’ll never pretend that flexible work is perfect or always easy. But it’s powerful. And it gives us the chance to reimagine what healthy really looks like. Not just in theory, but in action.

So yes, you might catch me replying to an email at 9 PM. But know this: I’m not asking you to do the same. I’m asking you to find the version of work that supports the life you want and gives you room to show up fully, wherever you are.

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In Case You Missed It

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​AI Recipe: Shop Smarter​
In a recent Idea Kitchen recipe, I shared how to research what to buy (without endless tabs) by using Perplexity's "Shop Like a Pro" feature.

Work Forward Society Want to meet others who do work differently? Join us in making 2025 your year of less meetings and more real work! Join The Work Forward Society →

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What did you think of this issue? What do you hope to see in the next one? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read this. Hope you have a lovely day! Marissa ​Founder, Remote Work Prep​ P.S. Did you enjoy this issue? Share the article with a friend. Struggling with a remote work problem? Book a coaching call. If you liked this, consider supporting this free newsletter by leaving a testimonial. ​

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